“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.”
– Marcel Proust
Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
David Schnarch Ph.D. (Paperback – May 15, 1998)
David Schnarch’s Passionate Marriage looks at the importance of differentiation in relationships and marriage. Holding onto yourself in relationship to others is one of his basic tenants.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work:
A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver (May 16, 2000)
This book is very “readable”. The authors include relationship examples and practical exercises to illustrate (and allow you to practice) the principles. I recommend this to couples (married or not) for them to get a sense of where their relationship is at (take the “relationship temperature”, if you will) and where they might focus their time and energy. Often it is very small, incremental changes that make all the differences over the lifetime of any relationship. John Gottman also has other books worth reading.
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
by Sue Johnson (April 8, 2008)
This is another book I recommend to couples. In fact, I think this book is great for any relationship. It too is very “readable”. I think with any book like this each reader has to take what works for them from the book and leave the rest behind. This book has practical exercises that encourage thought about relationships as well as action steps towards making changes in how you are in relationship to others.
Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation
by Daniel J. Siegel (Dec 28, 2010)
Dan Siegel is one of my favorite speakers and authors. This is a great book for anyone who is interested in the science of relationships. Dr. Siegel coined the term interpersonal neurobiology: “an interdisciplinary field which seeks to understand the mind and mental health”.
Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours
by Daphne Rose Kingma (Feb 1, 2000)
While this book is about how to be with ending a relationship, it is also about what’s next. How to care for yourself as you examine your own role in why your relationship ended. This book can help you identify what you might do (and/or how you might be) differently when you are ready to “get back out there”.
Blessed by Thunder: Memoir of a Cuban Girlhood
by Flor Fernandez Barrios.
I could not put this book down. It is enchanting. I hope you will give yourself the gift of reading Flor’s story. Set in Cuba and later in America, what comes across so powerfully are the connections Flor had and has with the people in her life.
Interpersonal Edge: Breakthrough Tools for Talking to Anyone, Anywhere, about Anything
by Dr. Daneen Skube Ph.D.
Daneen Skube’s book is wonderful particularly for those struggling with difficult relationships at work. And, her tools are applicable to any relationship. If you have ever struggled with boundaries in a relationship then I suggest this book for you. She shares gentle, respectful and powerful tools you can use everyday in every relationship.